Caps Playoff Fever!

Posted April 17, 2016

(Caps Outsider)

Do you scream, jump up and down and go into a virtual frenzy when the Caps score during a playoff game?  If so, then you may have contracted Caps Playoff Fever.  For an accurate diagnosis, here is a list of some other symptoms characteristic of the condition that is spreading rapidly throughout the DMV.

  • Inability to wear any other color of clothing but red
  • Increased alcohol consumption
  • Elevated blood pressure, especially during Caps games prompting increased alcohol consumption
  • Obsessive need to eat Papa John’s pizza for every meal with increased alcohol consumption
  • Dizziness and blurred vision possibly exacerbated by increased alcohol consumption

More obscure, serious symptoms include:

  • Intense desire to yell “Hold it Here” when engaged in conversation
  • Uncontrollably screaming “Unleash the Fury” at your child’s T-ball game
  • Overwhelming urge to take Russian and Swedish language courses

If you, or anyone you know, are experiencing 2 or more of these symptoms, please seek help.  You may have contracted Caps Playoff Fever, but don’t despair there is a cure.  The antidote for CPF is the Stanley Cup!

Let’s Go Caps!!