Tale of the Tape: Tom Wilson vs. Matt Martin

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Posted February 21, 2015

Tom Wilson – 6’4″, 210 lbs. 22 Career NHL Regular Season Fights.

Matt Martin – 6’3″ 215 lbs. 55 Career NHL Regular Season Fights.

February 21, 2015. 5:14 into the third period. Caps tied with the Islanders 1-1.

Matt Martin woke up to a winter snow in Washington. He let out a big stretch and sighed. Today was going to be a good day.

He turned on the television to ESPN, walked over to his hotel door to and grabbed the USA Today, and then started to brew a cup of coffee.

Just as Martin was about to kick back and take a few minutes of peace in his chair, he heard a noise.

It sounded like shuffling. It was a soft, soft shuffling noise. And it sounded like it was coming from outside.

Martin pulls back the curtain from his sixth-floor room. And he looks out into the open area from his view.

He sees a man shuffling along in the snow, zig-zagging back and forth. “What is this guy doing?” Martin thought.

The guy was Tom Wilson. As he was shuffling along in the snow, Martin began to make out what he was doing. He was spelling something in the snow.

“Matt…..Martin….is….a….wuss.”

Martin began to fume. Wilson was going to have to pay.

And so he challenged the evil Tom Wilson to a fight. And, of course, Wilson obliged.

This was actually a pretty dull fight as far as Wilson and Martin fights go. The two started off by intensely pushing one another before Martin dropped the gloves. They embraced super close to one another for an uncomfortably long time. Then Martin decided to engage, throwing a couple of right hooks, but couldn’t reach Wilson’s face. So Wilson answered with a  couple of quick left jabs, then went in for the kill with a big right, narrowly missing. The two begin exchanging big blows, but neither one can seem to connect. Then, Wilson began to undress. He was trying to get his right arm free, and decided the best way to get his arm free was to just take off his jersey. Martin prevented Wilson from stripping in front of all of us. This angered Wilson, so the two began to wrestle until they both fell down.

And….the winner is….NOPE, IT’S A DRAW!