Just in time for the start of the season, Rise Sport has released...
Volpatti Outmatched in Caps Debut
It seemed as if newly-acquired Cap Aaron Volpatti wanted to make a statement in his first game in a Washington uniform, so he did what anyone would do – he fought a big dude on the other team.
What happened next wasn’t pretty, as Winnipeg’s Anthony Peluso pounded him to the ice. Both players suffered injuries during the bout, as Peluso left the game with an upper body injury and Volpatti needed stitches.
Peluso is listed as three inches taller (6’3) and ten pounds heavier (225) than Volpatti.
Volpatti only played 5:24, registering one shot and one hit, along with the first period fight. It was his first game with the Caps since being picked up on waivers from the Vancouver Canucks.
Analysis by Caps Outsider’s Ryan Cooper:
Analysis: Poor Aaron Volpatti. You go from the rockin’ city of Vancouver to join a fringe playoff team in Washington (while they’re in Winnipeg of all places), and you’ve never even practiced with these guys. You’re thrown right into your first game, and then you get in a fight with Anthony Peluso thinking “here’s my chance to show my new team how tough I am”, and you manage to hold on for a while before things take a turn for the worse. He’s like a new kid in school that the teacher makes stand up and introduce themselves, and then something terrible happens, like you trip and fall or you mispronounce a word. This is inadvertent flatulence.
At least he took Peluso out of the game, which is…something I guess. I’m sure the Jets really missed his five minutes of ice time per game, although he does have as many points this year (2) than Marcus Johansson and Joey Crabb have combined (2), which could be the most depressing thing about this whole fight.
Verdict: The fight is awarded to Volpatti, for having the superior combination of genetics, bone structure, and dental hygiene to be pummeled mercilessly in the teeth and not have them fly into the third row at MTS Centre.