Happy Birthday Captain America

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Posted January 10, 2012

Photo by Alena Schwarz

Today, teen heartthrob, fangirl sensation and American hero John Carlson celebrates his 22nd birthday. For the Jersey/Massachusetts native, we have a plethora of gifts:

1) American Flag

Let’s face it, what Captain America doesn’t have an American flag? It’s unheard of. Preposterous, even. This is also one of those gifts that keeps on giving. While his BFFL Karl Alzner is hanging out with his fiancee,  the flag can be worn as a cape and Carlson can pretend he’s a real superhero.

2) Friendship Bracelet

Speaking of Alzner… every bromance needs something material that solidifies it. For the former Brooks Laich-Mike Green bromance, it was their make believe band. For Alzner and Carlson, it can be BFF bracelets.

3) A New Blanket and a Caps Pillow Pet

Alzner allegedly stole his, so here ya go Johnny Boy, a replacement. Although he might consider writing his name in this one so it doesn’t get lost. As for the Pillow Pet, Carlson likes pillows.

LCM Home Fashions Micromink / Sherpa Throw

NHLTeam Pillow Pets

4) Jersey Shore, the Complete Fourth Season

For those days when Carlson decides he’s from Jersey, he can curl up with his new blanket and watch the uncensored version of the Shore.

5) Bar Harbor All Natural New England Clam Chowder

For those days when Carlson decides he’s a New England native, he can curl up with his new blankie and chow down on some clam chowder.

6) A Haircut

Much like the rest of the team, Carlson is in dire need of a trim. And when I say “trim,” I mean a real hack job. His mane has become long as the season has progressed and for whatever reason, it has not been timed. His birthday is as good a time as any to chop off those fluffy, curly things that shoot out from under his helmet.

It's time to let that flow go... Photos by Alena Schwarz

Alena Schwarz

Alena Schwarz

Contributor at Capitals Outsider
Alena Schwarz

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