Tale of the Tape: Jason Chimera vs. Zac Rinaldo

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Posted February 23, 2015

Jason Chimera – 6’3″, 213 lbs. 29 NHL Regular Season Fights

Zac Rinaldo – 5’11”, 169 lbs. 26 NHL Regular Season Fights

February 22, 2015, Wells Fargo Center. 6:18 into the second period. Caps down 2-1.

Zac Rinaldo is a terrible person.

You know how that fire alarm went off in the Caps hotel at 1:30 in the morning before the Caps matchup against the Flyers?

Well, this was just great!!???? 1.30 in the morning! ???????? @aleksandrovechkinofficial @kuzy092

A video posted by Marcus Johansson (@marcusjohansson90) on

Yup, that was Rinaldo who pulled it. Why else would they be paying him $2.45 million over the course of three seasons? They can’t possibly be paying him to actually play hockey, could they?

It was him. It was totally him. You know it, I know it, and Jason Chimera knows it.

Chimera was particularly upset because he didn’t get his full amount of beauty sleep before the game. And so the second he saw his opportunity to take out Rinaldo, he did.

The fight is actually pretty hilarious. Rinaldo goes flying in for the big hit on Mike Green, this of course happening after he had already elbowed Green right in the back of the head. Green wasn’t all too please, but neither was Chimera. Chimera’s a relatively big dude, and Rinaldo is not. So Chimera decided to go in for the kill.

Rinaldo was having none of it. But Chimera was already in full Mike Tyson mode, shedding his gloves and everything.

Clock, right to Rinaldo’s chin, knocking him down.

That’s it. That’s all that happened. Chimera had enough of Rinaldo. The NHL collectively cheered as Rinaldo went down. Why? He’s a jerk.

Do we really need to announce a winner? It was Chimera. Definitely Chimera. Don’t mess with the Caps beauty sleep.