There is nothing else to say about this.
DCPS Beautification Day is Mascot-Disaster Free!
Today, the Caps Community Relations team (with a little help from Matt Hendricks, Wes Johnson, and more than 120 volunteers) lent their talents to the 2011 incarnation of DCPS Beautification Day. Weeds were cleared, doors and a mural were painted, and a rather impressive garden was planted.
But you know who wasn’t there? Slapshot.
As I was informed by Wes Johnson, hometown voice of the Caps, the feathered super-fan’s absence was the result of a carefully orchestrated web of misdirection. Apparently, Slapshot has an allergy to blue paint – the kind of allergy that drives one into fits of unspeakable rage, having something to do with a long-standing grudge involving either the NY Rangers or the Vancouver Canucks (testing to date has been inconclusive, and nobody in their right mind has any desire to provoke the poor bird unnecessarily).
In less awesome news, I was not able to add to my photo collection featuring Caps players engaged in deathmatches with power tools (Jeff Schultz demonstrated back in June that even 6’ 5” of hockey player is no match for a roto-tiller).
Even without Slapshot to bring in the crowds, organizers found themselves with a full compliment of warm bodies who were more than happy to put in a few hours for the improvement of the community.
Once again, Caps fans have managed to prove that rocking the red doesn’t just happen in Verizon Center.
Clarification [Monday, 22 Aug]: Slapshot did, in fact, visit Thurgood Marshall Elementary School on Saturday during the festivities (photographic evidence can be found on the Capitals website). However, volunteers and Community Relations staff alike labored tirelessly to make sure that he was kept well clear of any activities involving the problematic blue paint.