Are You Obsessed With The Caps?

Posted May 15, 2018

(Caps Outsider)

Have the Caps’ playoff games sent you to the brink of collapse and back in a single game?  Do you have visions of the Stanley Cup dancing through your head every night?  Are you on the edge of seeking professional help for your Caps mania and fascination with all things red?  If your answer is ‘yes’ to those questions and one or more of the following, you could be suffering from a serious Caps obsession.

  • Do you wear your Caps jersey to bed and pray to the hockey gods every night?
  • Every time you hear a horn or siren, do you cheer uncontrollably?
  • Do you find yourself continuously watching the movies Miracle and The Mighty Ducks?
  • Have you ordered Rosetta Stone and are now speaking fluent Russian and Swedish?
  • Have you fashioned a children’s Caps jersey for your pet?
  • Do you have the urge to hip check family members, folks heading toward you in the grocery aisle and anyone trying to take your seat on the Metro?
  • Do you know all of the Caps’ playoff stats by heart?
  • Did you buy 2 goldfish and name them Ovi and Oshie? (Oops, I did!)
  • Did you have a yard sale to get enough money for playoff tickets?
  • Have you worn the same clothing for every Caps game, including your underwear?
  • Have you painted various body parts red?
  • Do you count the minutes until you can ‘unleash the fury’ once again?

Well, how did you do?  Are you suffering from a Caps obsession?  Maybe we all are.  Last night, my son checked me right into the refrigerator.  Needless to say, that appliance will never be the same, but who cares?  As steadfast Caps fans, we have waited a long time.  We have the right to go a little crazy. We deserve this.  So, put on your jersey, suit up your pet, find your lucky underwear and unleash your wildest fury.  It’s our turn!