Capitals

If the Caps Were in Rio…

(Pavel Lysenkov of Sovietsky Sport)

As the Rio Summer Olympics are underway, the world’s attention is drawn to the embattled host city for two whole weeks. What events might your favorite Washington Capitals participate in?

Alex Ovechkin, Soccer

Size, speed, physicality, and a willingness to win at all costs. Ovechkin definitely has all of those things. His skating speed may not translate perfectly on grass, but it will still be there. Besides, his father played for the Soviet National Team. He could also play basketball, but we’ve seen that and don’t recommend it.

Nicklas Backstrom, Fencing

The mastery with which he cuts up a defense with his passing would translate well to the foils. His fast hands and Selke-worthy defensive skills would parry and lunge like the best of them.

T.J. Oshie, Basketball

Back in 2014, Oshie and the St. Louis Blues launched a campaign to get their star on the cover of NHL 15. Instead, they did mini-videos of Oshie auditioning for NBA Live, Madden, MLB: The Show, and PGA Tour franchises. Oshie purposefully did poorly on these attempts. His insertion on this stacked American team would add a team-first leader, something basketball could really use.

Jay Beagle, Water Polo

This is not a sport for the faint of strength or heart. Beagle would fit in well with the grinders of the water, even if they swim an average of 5 kilometers every match.

Justin Williams, Golf

williams

via wvccgreens.blogspot.com

This shouldn’t need much of an explanation. With its first appearance in the Olympics since the 1904 St. Louis Games, Williams and other scratch golfers would tee up next to golf’s best (even if half the top-10 golfers opted to skip the Games).

Tom Wilson, Beach Volleyball

Screen Shot 2016-08-08 at 9.37.59 PM

I know the temptation is to immediately say “Boxing,” but Wilson is not a traditional fighter — and boxing is a science. His size and good hands are good for blocks and spikes, plus he’s already got a proven beach body.

John Carlson and Karl Alzner, Rowing (double sculls)

These Iron Men of the Caps blue line would welcome a trip to the water. The one-time defense partners will pick up their synchronicity soon enough after training.

Braden Holtby, Archery

With his laser sharp focus and total calm under pressure, the reigning Vezina Trophy champion can take his stance at the line and stare down his target for a Bull’s eye.

Did we miss any? Think anyone might be better at different sport? Be sure to let us know.

Max Wolpoff

Churchill High School graduate (2015) and current Boston University journalism student. Follow me on Twitter (@Max_Wolpoff) for game-day tweets or my random musings about being a college student.

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