(Caps Outsider)
Do you scream, jump up and down and go into a virtual frenzy when the Caps score during a playoff game? If so, then you may have contracted Caps Playoff Fever. For an accurate diagnosis, here is a list of some other symptoms characteristic of the condition that is spreading rapidly throughout the DMV.
- Inability to wear any other color of clothing but red
- Increased alcohol consumption
- Elevated blood pressure, especially during Caps games prompting increased alcohol consumption
- Obsessive need to eat Papa John’s pizza for every meal with increased alcohol consumption
- Dizziness and blurred vision possibly exacerbated by increased alcohol consumption
More obscure, serious symptoms include:
- Intense desire to yell “Hold it Here” when engaged in conversation
- Uncontrollably screaming “Unleash the Fury” at your child’s T-ball game
- Overwhelming urge to take Russian and Swedish language courses
If you, or anyone you know, are experiencing 2 or more of these symptoms, please seek help. You may have contracted Caps Playoff Fever, but don’t despair there is a cure. The antidote for CPF is the Stanley Cup!
Let’s Go Caps!!
