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Tale of the Tape: Tyson Strachan vs. Matt Martin
Tyson Strachan: 6’3″, 215 lbs., 13 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
Matt Martin: 6’3″, 206 lbs., 45 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
February 4th, 2014. Verizon Center. 2:34 into the first period. Score tied 0-0.
Tyson Strachan looked over at Matt Martin with a smile, who shot Strachan a smile right back.
“Why hello Matt,” Strachan said.
“Oh, hello Tyson, how are you?” answered Martin.
“I’m great, I’m just looking forward to the Olympics.” Strachan said.
“Oh, me to, you know?” said Martin.
Both Martin and Strachan are Canadian boys. They grew up playing in the snow, ice skating, riding moose, drinking molasses, I don’t know. I’ve never been there, but I do know they did whatever normal Canadian boys do.
Anyways, they were having a pleasant conversation about the Olympics and Canada. Talking about the wilderness, curling and snow storms. Then the topic of conversation switched to the Canadian Olympic hockey uniforms. Martin didn’t understand why they didn’t do a big logo of a mountie.
“Mountie’s are the most Canadian thing ever, eh?” asked Martin.
Strachan couldn’t believe what he heard. How on earth could it be anything other than a maple leaf? So he asked….
“How on earth could it be anything other than a maple leaf?” asked Strachan.
“Because mounties are more Canadian,” Martin said.
And the two went back and forth, back and forth, each time Strachan responding intelligently, while Martin just babbled on and on. Finally, Strachan had enough. So he dropped the gloves. It was time to teach this Canadian boy a lesson.
Except he didn’t. In what was one of the shortest fights of the season, Strachan lost. I don’t really know how else to describe it other than Strachan takes a huge blow to the head from Martin and a couple of quick jabs, while he desperately tries to throw one back. He’s unable to connect, and twirls around to his knees. Martin hits him directly on the back, and the fight was over. In that short period of time, Martin was able to draw blood.
And….The winner is….in a unanimous decision…..MATT MARTIN