(Photo by Caps Outsider) Washington area sports fans are walking pretty tall...
Tale of The Tape: Tom Wilson vs. Nick Foligno and Troy Brouwer vs. Boone Jenner
Tom Wilson: 6’4″, 210 lbs., 11 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
Nick Foligno: 6′ 0″, 210 lbs., 13 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
January 30th, 2014. Nationwide Arena. 10:19 into the first period. Game tied 0-0.
Nick Foligno glared at Tom Wilson across the ice.
He thought about why Wilson seemed so familiar. He couldn’t think of where he heard the name Tom Wilson before. Was it the guy from Foligno’s favorite show, 90210? No, no that doesn’t seem right Foligno thought. Was he from One Direction? No, no…I know those guys by heart Foligno thought. Was he my favorite character in Dance Dance Revolution? Nope. That doesn’t seem right. Stumped, Foligno kept wracking his brain. Where had he heard the name Tom Wilson before?
Then it hit him.
New Years Eve. Foligno was at a New Years Eve party with his brother Marcus. He walked up to Marcus, sitting on a bar stool weeping.
-“What happened Marcus?” said Nick
-“He….*sniff*….he hit me?” whimpered Marcus
-“Who hit you Marcus?” Nick asked.
-“Big….big….” Marcus couldn’t get it out.
-“Big…big…who?” Nick growing greatly concerned.
-“Big Tom Wilson,” Marcus cried out as he burst into tears.
Marcus had just gotten into a fight with Wilson just the day before. He was still sore from his battle, shaking in pain. And it was at that moment, Nick vowed he would fight this Big Bad Tom Wilson.
And so he jumped on the ice, seeing his chance. Nick dropped his gloves, and Wilson instinctively dropped his. And it was on.
The two grab ahold of each others collar. Wilson, while still holding on, kept jabbing Foligno in the face. Foligno swings with his right, and Wilson answers with his left. Wilson then tries to bat Foligno’s hand off of his sweater. Foligno steals a page from Wilson’s books and begins to throw some quick jabs into Wilson’s face. Wilson pretends to stumble back, but we all know Wilson won’t fall that easy, and he swings a quick right. He gets a solid upper cut on Foligno, who jabs Wilson right back. Wilson gets another hit off, and knocks Foligno’s helmet off, and falls to the ground. Wilson sees his opportunity, and lands two big upper cuts right on Foligno’s jaw. Foligno regains his footing, and Wilson returns to his quick jabs. Foligno desperately fires at Wilson, but it doesn’t land. The two begin to tire, and the fight ends.
And….the winner is….in a unanimous decision…..TOM WILSON….who fears Folignos?
Troy Brouwer: 6’3″, 213 lbs., 21 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
Boone Jenner: 6’2″, 208 lbs., 1 Career NHL Regular Season Fights
January 30th, 2014. Nationwide Arena. 3:25 into the 3rd period. Caps down 2-4.
Boone Jenner defended the recent actions of Justin Beiber. Brouwer thought that was absolutely ridiculous. So he fought him to teach him a lesson.
The two pulled each other in really tight. Neither one was able to get enough elbow space to land some big blows. Brouwer was able to get the first shot in, but Jenner quickly answers. Brouwer throws one that appears to connect to the side of Jenner’s head. Jenner is trying to get his hands free, and while he does, Brouwer unleashes an upper cut. Jenner finally breaks free, and is able to get some pretty good punches in. This angered Brouwer, who was able to get off a few unsuccessful punches. He pushes Jenner against the boards, and gets a little push off into Jenner’s face. The refs see the opportunity to step in, and does so. And the fight ends.
And….the winner is…WAIT…it’s a draw!