Laich Calls Out the “Wolf Pack”, is Zach Galifianakis

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Posted April 7, 2012

Through the eyes of Brooks Laich. Original courtesy of Geoff Burke-US PRESSWIRE

Brooks Laich is infamous in D.C. for being everybody’s kind of awesome.  He’s got the grit and stoicism that makes men respect him and the clear blue eyes and chiseled jaw that make women swoon.  He’s also a great quote.

Laich has been the most consistent player in terms of postgame scrums, meeting with the media no matter how bad the team played and answering tough questions with the kind of honesty that makes politicians vomit.  Of course there’s the playoff “guarantee” (that wasn’t actually a guarantee) and the much less-reported yet more ominous “We’ll see ’em in a week” that followed the March 16 game against the Winnipeg Jets and foreshadowed his March 23 fight.

But this isn’t about Brooks Laich.  This is about the Wolfpack.

Or is that what Laich wants us to believe?

After Thursday’s 4-2 win over the Florida Panthers, Laich revealed an interesting fact:

“I think people underestimate Jay Beagle.  I think he’s a heck of a hockey player.  He’s missed some time this year, but I don’t think the guy gets enough credit.  Even with 10 seconds left, Matt Hendricks lays down to block a shot and then Jay Beagle blocks a shot too.  I thought that line was great. They call themselves the ‘wolf pack’.  I thought they were great tonight.”

Ha ha ha, Hangover joke.  But seriously.

About the movie.  Who dubs the group the “wolf pack” and how many of the four actually follow it?
About the Caps.  Who calls out the line’s nickname yet is not on that line?

Like Alan (Zach Galifianakis), Laich is the outsider of this group.  He’s played with Brouwer and Hendricks a couple games and fronts the penalty kill unit with Beagle, but a line can only have three guys.  And those three guys are working pretty well right now.  Being a fellow grinder, Laich may play well with Mike Knuble, but it’s kind of like watching your friends go out while you stay home with your parents.  Nothing against your parents, but you can’t make Friday night mistakes over a game of Monopoly.

He won’t admit to it, but Laich also thinks like Alan:

Laich: “I have a belief we’re going to be in the playoffs and that’s it.  I don’t want to discuss any scenario that we’re not. My belief is that we’re going to be in the playoffs.”

Alan: “Gambling?  Who said anything about gambling?  It’s not gambling when you know you’re gonna win.”

Laich: “I really don’t care about that awareness crap, to be honest, I’m sick of hearing all this talk about concussions and the quiet room…Sometimes it feels like we’re being babysat a little too much. We’re grown men, we should have a little say in what we want to do.”

Alan: “…after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, bin Laden.”

This is a personal conspiracy, and may very well be wrong.  If it is, then we’ve got a new problem on our hands.  Who is the real Galifianakis of the Caps?  And more important, who is Bradley Cooper?

(Also, why is Laich calling everyone by their full names?)